This one always cheers me up, Ireland's Bob Marley.
Wednesday 13 June 2018
Noah - The Ark
Did Noah play scrabble on the Ark?,
Or did the Ark itself play a part in this game?,
Letters two by two maybe, or sometimes three,
Or triple word score, four or more.
Don't talk about the Ark she said,
Could cause offence, might be heard,
Can we say big ship with animals instead?,
A grumbling look and stare says no.
Like the snake, back later heard we rose her,
Made her angry our childish game,
Pseudo-intellectual & childish true,
But at least we remembered her name.
Or did the Ark itself play a part in this game?,
Letters two by two maybe, or sometimes three,
Or triple word score, four or more.
Don't talk about the Ark she said,
Could cause offence, might be heard,
Can we say big ship with animals instead?,
A grumbling look and stare says no.
Like the snake, back later heard we rose her,
Made her angry our childish game,
Pseudo-intellectual & childish true,
But at least we remembered her name.
Me - Only One
What they say cannot affect me,
What they think won't dissect me,
I am still me , the same person,
Crumbling slightly, needing conversion.
A shoddy room needs decorating,
As a shoddy mind needs medicating,
Mindfulness v Medication,
Tablets, pills v Meditation.
Drugs not Hugs the road for me,
Stuff Mindfulness and CBT,
Though chemically altered , I'll move on,
I'm still just me, I'm only one.
What they think won't dissect me,
I am still me , the same person,
Crumbling slightly, needing conversion.
A shoddy room needs decorating,
As a shoddy mind needs medicating,
Mindfulness v Medication,
Tablets, pills v Meditation.
Drugs not Hugs the road for me,
Stuff Mindfulness and CBT,
Though chemically altered , I'll move on,
I'm still just me, I'm only one.
Watching Seagulls while waiting in the queue
Seagulls on roof noisy,
Baby gulls getting brave,
Standing on edge looking down,
Moved back by mothers call.
Soon they will fly & so will I,
Fly this nest & back to the world,
But just like them,
Mothers voice tells me to move back, to safety.
Not ready yet but not far to go,
Can see the target, future destination,
When wings are spread
and flight commenced.
But for now,
Feet on the ground,
I like them will,
Walk & wait.
Baby gulls getting brave,
Standing on edge looking down,
Moved back by mothers call.
Soon they will fly & so will I,
Fly this nest & back to the world,
But just like them,
Mothers voice tells me to move back, to safety.
Not ready yet but not far to go,
Can see the target, future destination,
When wings are spread
and flight commenced.
But for now,
Feet on the ground,
I like them will,
Walk & wait.
Weekly meeting with Consultant
As part of my treatment I meet with my Consultant Psychiatrist & her team every Wednesday morning, this mornings meeting went particularly well.
My daily Lithium dose was increased to 800mg from 400mg last night and there are no signs of any ill effects as yet, my Duloxetine dose is to be reduced to 30mg from tomorrow morning with a view to cutting it out completely by next Wednesday, other medication to remain the same.
I have been ok'd for limited unaccompanied leave from site, restricted to local area, while I would have preferred more I am happy with this, at least now I can access an ATM machine as there are no such facilities in the hospital, this is a huge bonus as I am no longer reliant on family members to bring me in cash & won't have to use my debit card to pay for items such as Coffee's and newspapers.
I still have issues re the noise and volume of people on ward, this was particularly bad last night but 90% of my aggravation has gone, the restlessness, low concentration and lack of motivation are still a concern though.
Mood is now close to 6/10 as opposed to the 3/10 this time last week.
So all good.
My daily Lithium dose was increased to 800mg from 400mg last night and there are no signs of any ill effects as yet, my Duloxetine dose is to be reduced to 30mg from tomorrow morning with a view to cutting it out completely by next Wednesday, other medication to remain the same.
I have been ok'd for limited unaccompanied leave from site, restricted to local area, while I would have preferred more I am happy with this, at least now I can access an ATM machine as there are no such facilities in the hospital, this is a huge bonus as I am no longer reliant on family members to bring me in cash & won't have to use my debit card to pay for items such as Coffee's and newspapers.
I still have issues re the noise and volume of people on ward, this was particularly bad last night but 90% of my aggravation has gone, the restlessness, low concentration and lack of motivation are still a concern though.
Mood is now close to 6/10 as opposed to the 3/10 this time last week.
So all good.
Tuesday 12 June 2018
Psych Ward - No Fucking Peace.
Common ground and common sound,
Voices raised all around,
Loudest voice from empty host,
Empty vessels talk the most.
"What I've done and where I've been,
What I said and what I've seen
Who I met & what they said
What they wore when they got wed."
Loudest voice and longest story,
Keep on talking just to bore me,
Some of this may not be true,
But God's own light shines for you.
The voices echo inside my head,
Comparing my life to what you've said,
Tired of listening, Drugs instead,
Fuck this shit, I'm off to bed.
Voices raised all around,
Loudest voice from empty host,
Empty vessels talk the most.
"What I've done and where I've been,
What I said and what I've seen
Who I met & what they said
What they wore when they got wed."
Loudest voice and longest story,
Keep on talking just to bore me,
Some of this may not be true,
But God's own light shines for you.
The voices echo inside my head,
Comparing my life to what you've said,
Tired of listening, Drugs instead,
Fuck this shit, I'm off to bed.
RETURN TO GRATTAN - Re-admission to Hospital
I am back on Grattan Ward in St. Patricks University Hospital, Dublin.
As the song goes "The doctor came and said it's come back again, I wasn't expecting that."
My mood had been slowly deteriorating since October '17, I had been ignoring the signs, the restlessness, agitation, low mood, lack of motivation and the inability to deal with the daily grind of work.
Following a number of consults with my Consultant Psychiatrist it was determined that I needed to be re-admitted as in her words " I was in poorer condition that when I was previously admitted in 2016."
I was re-admitted on Friday June 1st at 10 am., met with my Consultant and Registrar and they outlined their plans for me re medication.
Medication being changed, some being decreased Duloxetine from 120mg to nil on a phased basis, Quetiapine being cut out and being replaced by Olanzapine, in line with decreasing the Duloxetine I have been put on Lithium 400mg to start with a view to eventually increasing this to 800mg per day, I am also taking Clonazepam .05mg twice a day, so quite the cocktail.
As the song goes "The doctor came and said it's come back again, I wasn't expecting that."
My mood had been slowly deteriorating since October '17, I had been ignoring the signs, the restlessness, agitation, low mood, lack of motivation and the inability to deal with the daily grind of work.
Following a number of consults with my Consultant Psychiatrist it was determined that I needed to be re-admitted as in her words " I was in poorer condition that when I was previously admitted in 2016."
I was re-admitted on Friday June 1st at 10 am., met with my Consultant and Registrar and they outlined their plans for me re medication.
Medication being changed, some being decreased Duloxetine from 120mg to nil on a phased basis, Quetiapine being cut out and being replaced by Olanzapine, in line with decreasing the Duloxetine I have been put on Lithium 400mg to start with a view to eventually increasing this to 800mg per day, I am also taking Clonazepam .05mg twice a day, so quite the cocktail.
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